*DISCLAIMER: I am usually a pretty positive person...and I am also very REAL! So some of what you read may be a little dark. In the beginning of this pregnancy I was sinking....I was sad and all I kept saying was, "This is so hard, I don't think I'm ready." But I prayed for this baby, and God answered...He never said it would be EASY, but that it would be worth it. So I just want to throw that out there BEFORE you read my week to week updates. Please don't judge me for my honesty, I'm sharing this real, raw and honest truth in hopes that someone else going through a hard time won't feel alone...
What a journey it has been thus far. A lot of my early pregnancy has been a blur and I’ve found myself in a constant state of survival. No kidding! So far I’ve had 4 beta blood draws to make sure my levels were rising, 3 ultrasounds to make sure baby is growing and doing ok, 2 ER visits to treat dehydration due to moderate hypermesis graviderum (again), a (routine) Pap smear, lab work which included about 5 viles of blood, oral progesterone every night and 2 antibiotics (because infection) oh and lots of nausea and vomiting which has resulted in me loosing 10 pounds 🤷🏽♀️
Yep....it’s been a whirlwind! Most days I have felt like a big day failure as a Wife & Mom to Jaxson. No lie, when my feet touch the ground in the morning, within 5 mins my head is in the toilet bowl 🤢 EVERY MORNING! And while most women find this symptom a comforting reminder that they are growing a healthy baby....it’s been hard y’all! And it last all day and even into the night. I have to push myself to do the smallest things. And if you know me, you know I’m an “on the go woman”! I rarely slow down. So this pregnancy is making me slow down, a lot. Our entire support system is back in LA, Marc works 12 hours a day, Jaxson is a full blown ACTIVE toddler and I have responsibilities as a business owner. 😅 So because I’ve been experiencing HG (debilitating day and night sickness), Marc has taken on some of my responsibilities (as wife and Mom) without complaining. I am sooooo appreciative of my husband I can’t even say it enough!
While my experience so far may sound a bit nuts, I am still thankful for the little blessing God has blessed us with. I am slowly slowly SLOWLY feeling a connection. I won’t lie, I am still a bit guarded and due to being so sick it’s hard to be in a celebratory mood. I am literally in survival mode and just taking things one day at a time and remaining hopeful for a healthy and full term pregnancy.
COLD FRESH FRUIT (watermelon, grapes, cantaloupe & pineapples), Salt & Vinegar chips, Vanilla Ice Cream, Ice Cold Coca Cola & Squirt (don't judge me)
Having vivid and wild pregnancy dreams, Severe nausea & vomiting, Fatigue, Food aversions, Sadness from time to time.
Got to see the baby who was pretty active! Has grown quite a bit since week 8. Lost 2 more pounds 👎🏾 Dr. says she isn’t too worried and that I’ll gain it back later on in pregnancy. Sickness has been up and down this week. I have moments of energy and can manage doing a few things 🙌🏾 but they are literally short moments lol. Starting to notice the makings of a little baby bump. This week I'm eating a little better and keeping it down! Pretzels are my jam, still loving cold fresh fruit and the Body Armor drink (Orange Mango)
Well this week shocked me! Just as I thought I was turning a corner my body said NOPE! I got hit haaaaaaard this week with sickness. From Monday-Thursday I was completely bed ridden with the exception of frequent trips to the restroom. After a while I resorted to just vomiting in disposable bags 😷 to avoid having to keep getting up. Nothing stayed down- none of my meds, safe drinks or food. By Thursday morning I was completely miserable and told Marc to take my to the ER! That’s now a total of 3 trips to the ER this pregnancy👎🏾 I was treated with 3 bags of IV fluids and lots of nausea medication. I had ketones in my urine which means I was dehydrated (no guessing there) and after a few hours I was sent home feeling a little better. I’ve felt pretty discouraged and taken aback this week. I haven’t been able to really be present for Jaxson like I usually am, and it’s breaking my heart. I can tell Marc is (getting) worn out too from carrying so much weight but he just keeps going. I just want things to be better. I want to enjoy this pregnancy and my life! This week I’ve literally felt like I couldn’t take anymore of the sickness. We did get to see the baby today while at the ER and he/she was quite the wiggle worm. It was a sweet reminder for a moment that this baby is hanging in there through it all. We are in this together. The hard is what makes us stronger...
This has been a busy week! I had my NT scan and blood work done and baby is looking perfect! During the ultrasound baby was pretty chill and has a strong heartbeat! I’m amazed at how fast he/she is going. Being high risk means I see my OB every 2 weeks and I also get to see the baby! We announced this week and the love we have received actually gave me some excitement 😊 The last few days my sickness has been minimal praise God. Still getting sick EVERY morning and occasionally once or twice later in the day/night. I am still taking nausea/vomiting medicine. Also, my blood work (from almost a month ago) for my thyroid came in this week. One of the levels was low and one of the numbers was high...my Dr. sent me to see a Endocrinologist. I’ve never had issues with my thyroid nor any family history of problems. Long story short, the Dr. thinks that my levels were the way they are due to my diagnosis of hyperemesis graviderum. The connection there is that an overzealous production of the HCG hormone from the placenta can wreak havoc on the thyroid and cause the overwhelming sickness that comes with HG. Whew! So I had my blood drawn (yay more pokes lol) to see if my levels are evening out and we expect them to because I am starting to have better days as far as sickness goes. Pregnancy is tough for sure! It is no cake walk! It’s more than just taking cute bump pics and buying baby things. My health and the health of this baby is my top priority right now. I think that having a premature baby has definitely shaped my perspective on life. Having a miscarriage too (earlier this year) going through hard things and adversity is the greatest teacher. It’s put you in a position to never take anything for granted.