I Can't Keep Calm

I know my blog primarily focuses on my life as a preemie mom and helping others during and after their NICU journey. However, I felt the need to speak out about the injustices that are taking place in today's society. 

Not many know the fear that exist on a daily basis being black in America. The fear that you could step out and run to Starbucks or the grocery store and could possibly become a target by the police or another hashtag is simply mind blowing. I am the mother of a beautiful black baby boy....I am married to a handsome black man. I myself am a black woman, living in America "land of the free"who has friends of all different walks of life and I respect everyone no matter what. But being "free" comes with a cost so it seems. To be "free" means that we give up our rights to live happily, or speak our mind. Living "free" means we may just get shot AND killed during a routine traffic stop or even while trying to make a living LEGALLY! Freedom, never felt so restricted. Everyday I try to not let my mind go to that place of constant fear. I pray over my family and communicate with them throughout the day. I pray that my son will never had to experience racism, my hope is that the injustices will not get worse but better by the time he is 18.  Everyday my husband kisses us as he leaves for work and I pray throughout the day for his safety and that he would return home to me and Jaxson safely, and he does. I count my blessings each and everyday and pray the doesn’t come where I have to stand before the nation begging and pleading for justice on behalf of my son or husband.

My hope isn't put into things of this world but my hope and trust is in God and God alone. On Christ the solid rock I stand.

My hope isn't put into things of this world but my hope and trust is in God and God alone. On Christ the solid rock I stand.

It breaks my heart to know that the family's of the latest victims now have to plan a funeral. Speak in front of cameras and plead and cry for justice to be served. The men who were recently killed by the police unjustifiably hurts my heart. To be able to see a murder on FACEBOOK is just....horrifying. Who will be next? Will our father, husband, brother, son, cousin or friend be the next hashtag? Or will it even be me? Sadly these crimes aren't just committed towards black men, remember Sandra Bland? I ask when will enough be enough? When will people stand up and say enough is enough, the ones who are here to protect and serve us are wiping us out one after another with no regard. Then when we use the hashtag #blacklivesmatter we are countered with #alllivesmatter - yes all lives matter BUT all lives aren't being killed by the police. So we just want the world to acknowledge that black lives matter, we are people too! In church our Pastor gave a great metaphor- he said, "there's a city of beautiful homes and 1 is on fire, the firefighters will come to put the fire out for this 1 house. Now, the other homes in the surrounding area are still standing, not burning and their value is still the same. The value of the other homes doesn't change just because another house is burning next to it. In other words, #blacklivesmatter but it doesn't take away from the fact that others lives are important- right now, the spotlight is on black lives because those are the lives that are primarily being affected.

Shirts designed by:  Brand Ave. Clothing

Shirts designed by: Brand Ave. Clothing

Racism is still alive and well and some have blinders on and don't want to admit it or have the hard conversations. At this point in time, in tragedies that took place in Baton Rouge, Minnesota AND Dallas, have caused so much unrest in America. Guns and recklessness have changed and destroyed innocent lives and it is heartbreaking.

I am doing my best now to raise my son in the proper way that he should go. He will be a respectful and smart young man. I will teach him not to be afraid but to live and enjoy life. Seeing that Alton Sterling was a father, out doing what he had to do to provide for his family and didn't get to go home last night.                                     His wife didn't get to wake up and kiss her husband, his kids didn't get to see him this morning! Not because he was out doing something wrong but because he was murdered by the police. Absolutely heartbreaking! And Philando Castile, the same thing. Shot and killed on camera as he reached to take out his license and registration. Why? Why was their blackness a threat? It hurts. Everyday my husband kisses us as he leaves for work and I pray throughout the day for his safety and that he would return home to me and Jaxson safely. It's so scary to know that a black man can simply be minding his OWN business and get murdered by the police. And why did the shooter in Dallas have to act in retaliation thus taking the lives of men and women who were protecting and serving the protesters?

I am encouraging others to speak out and let your voice be heard. You don't have to be black to say something, many of us just want to feel supported through these challenging times. I also ask that you would show grace towards the heartbroken families of the victims and this heartbroken nation of people that are trying to figure out WHY? My prayer for you is that God watches over your loved ones as they go out into the world daily to make a living and do the things that make them happy.