No Do Over


Dear Sir at Pizza Rev,
Please don't tell me I need to have ANOTHER Baby since I had one that was premature. What you thought was a "joke" was in fact a very insensitive comment. I don't need to be reminded by a complete stranger that I missed out on a lot of things by giving birth 17 weeks early. To imply that my sons life should not be celebrated and almost dismissed is absurd. He fought like hell to LIVE and its hurtful to say such a thing. What you fail to realize is that despite his early arrival, we have gained SO much more than what we "lost". God has redeemed the time like never before.

If I were given the chance, this is exactly what I would say to the gentleman at Pizza Rev who tried to spark a conversation when he saw Jaxson and myself in line paying for our food. He asked how old and what gender my child was- as though his navy blue and gray car seat and stroller didn't give it away. Being polite, I answered and told him I have a son and he is 11 months. He then starkly replied, "so when are you having another one"? Mind you, I have never seen this man in my life so why was he concerned about MY uterus? I replied, "not anytime soon we are ok with just one right now. We have had a long journey with him being born premature and spending months in the NICU." Now, some may say that I opened myself up to this mans "candor" and to that I disagree. I had no idea this brief chit chat would take a turn in which he would then tell me that I "definitely need to have another one and that I needed a do over!"

To say I was completely shocked at what he said is an understatement. Jaxson has been home for 8 months now and just about everywhere we go, someone has something to say! I have pretty much heard it all. But this one, well this time was different. I have never thought to myself that my husband and I need to have another child just to get a "do over". There is no guarantee that if I were to get pregnant again that I would go full term. Because of everything that has happened, I am now considered high risk and the road to giving birth would be quite complex. The decision would be one that my husband and I make because WE want to expand our family. People may look at what we've gone through and think different things. Some may look at our blessing as a curse or something we should feel bad about or ashamed of. But we choose to celebrate the miracle that is Jaxson. God has blessed us and enhanced our lives so much that wouldn't have happened without going through what we did.

So, if I had to do it all over again I wouldn't change a thing! I did everything right, there wasn't anything more that I could personally do to have prevented the early arrival of my son. Of course in the beginning I beat myself up about everything and blamed my body for "failing" me. But seriously, I didn't do anything to compromise the health of my baby. God had a plan that was bigger than we realized. And because of our journey so many others have been blessed and will continue to gain insight and inspiration. So no Mr. Pizza Rev guy, I don't need a "do-over". I am completely happy with my life and how everything turned out for us!

Have you ever had to deal with rude comments from strangers in regards to your baby? If so, how do you deal with it?