Sooooo here we are, in our 12th week of pregnancy and cruising right along. While the first few weeks it felt like time was moving at a snails pace- even with many appointments and Jaxson having started school, it felt like the days were SO long and slow. I was diagnosed with Hyperemsis Graviderum pretty early on (more on this later). The sickness consumed my life and my entire being. The past 12 weeks I have truly just been SURVIVAL MODE. There were days that I felt like I wasn’t going to make it through. Through tears, praying to God for relief, ER trips (for IV fluids and anti nausea meds) I literally told Marc I don’t think I can do this. It was hard to feel excited and have positive thoughts when I was so weak and sick and not feeling like my normal self. I wasn't able to function like normal which meant my Husband had to take care of me AND Jaxson and all of our responsibilities. Without him, everything would've completely fallen apart. When I say pregnancy will humble you, whew! Between the prayers and support of my husband, Mother and a close friend...I kept pushing through and reminding myself that better days would be ahead of me. Jaxson has been such a sweet son, kids can be so cognizant of what's happening and I really appreciate that. When he would see me in bed day after day he would sometimes join me and just lay next me. Or if he saw me getting sick he would put his hand on my back and I would tell him, "Mommy is ok son!" Him and Daddy have bonded so much over these last 12 weeks and that has brought joy to my heart. I think he is going to be an awesome BIG BROTHER!

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And now here we are, nearing the 2nd trimester and still cooking! Click here to read my BUMP DATES for weeks 5-12.

Because I am a high risk pregnancy (due to giving birth to Jaxson 3 years ago at 22 weeks 6 days), and having went through a miscarriage earlier this year...I am being watched VERY closely. I love my OB who really has taken the time to get to know us and our history and come up with the best plan to carry full term this time around. I see her and the sonographer every 2 weeks and we check on the baby. Its amazing to see how much our baby has grown...its truly is a miracle what our bodies can do! From weeks 5-12 I took oral progesterone to strengthen the lining of my uterus and so far so good! My cervix is still measuring long despite having a couple bladder infections. Our first goal was to make it 12 weeks and we did, so I am very happy about that! 

At 16 weeks I will begin weekly progesterone shots (something I didn’t do with Jaxson as there wasn’t a need). And depending on how my cervix is measuring, we MAY do a cerclage. We are all about preventive measures for baby #2!  Our next big goal is to get to 24 weeks. My delivery for our rainbow baby (scheduled c-section) is scheduled for 2/18/19 which is the day BEFORE my Birthday :) 

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We are really grateful for this blessing God has given us- I remind myself daily that all of this is worth it. Not all parts of pregnancy are beautiful, and that's ok...growth doesn't always look pretty or even feel good. Think about when a rose is planted. Its roots are underground and in the dirt. All of the work is unseen but that doesn't mean something significant isn't taking place. So much of the hardworking is unseen...and after a while, a beautiful rose blooms. Someone who sees it will see the beauty but not necessarily realize how mush work went into getting to that point. That's exactly how I feel about pregnancy. 

Someone recently told me the other day that I was BRAVE for being on this pregnancy journey. And I hadn't even thought about it that way. I just know that God placed the desire in my heart, and that if He did and opened my womb to have another baby, then He will see me through. I constantly tell myself, "He who began a GOOD work in ME, will be faithful to complete it! He knows the plans He has for this baby and they are GOOD plans, to prosper him/her and not harm them. So I stand on that. I've been asked if I'm concerned, nervous or prepared to have another premature baby and honestly I don't even think about that. I am thinking positive thoughts, and praying for a healthy, safe and full term delivery. I picture myself leaving the hospital WITH my baby in my arms! I'm not scared or anxious- just taking things one day at a time and believing God for the best. I think that worrying and doubting would be doing myself a disservice. So I will continue to stay in peace and enjoy the journey...

Thanks for reading and I promise to keep you all on the journey with us! If there is anything specific you have questions about to want me to talk about, feel free to leave me a comment or send me an email! xo, Ima