I come in contact with people from all around the world and what I've come to realize is that people are in need of hope. The facts of life can sometimes cause us to doubt and feel defeated. I know first hand what its like to have "the hard facts" thrown at you like a rushing wave and leave you grasping for air. Sometimes those hard facts are given by Doctors, or people close to you. I believe that facts don't always align with the truth. You see, when I went into pre-term with my son, he was given a 20% chance of survival. No one could tell us for certain what his outcome would be if we proceeded with medical intervention. That statistic was given based on the fact that he was 22 weeks gestation and not many babies are born that early AND survive. So facts vs. truth were at odds.
This is the place where I found my strength, where I learned what true love and sacrifice meant. A place where Jesus literally held my hand day in and day out as we watched Him perform a miracle for our baby boy. Yesterday Jaxson and I went to visit and drop off our family Christmas card. So many of his old nurses came or to see us and were so excited to see his progress. Before we left one of his old Neonatologist came to speak. We hadn't seen eye to eye on many things during his NICU stay. My family and I believed in miracles she believed in science and only science. Her words.
Being the mother of a preemie causes you to celebrate and appreciate each and every accomplishment. Because of Jaxson's life I have learned to cherish the little things. There are so many things in this life that many people take for granted. Begin able to suck, swallow and breathe without complications or have consistent bowel movements without issues. Our little fighters have worked hard to do these things and overtime it becomes the norm and you begin focusing on tackling the next milestone.
Its well known that a premature child can face delays in different areas. Thankfully, Jaxson has pretty much stayed on track with his development. He has excelled in the area of gross motor skills and is getting better with fine motor skills. For weeks we have been working with him to perfect (so to speak) these skills. Using his pincer grasp (index finger and thumb) to eat and grab things, point, show 1 finger as in, "I am 1", etc. He knows how to clap and wave and you can see his little mind trying to figure out how to separate his little fingers and mimic what I am doing. Its pretty amazing to see! He really responds well to things, if we say "kick" he will kick! "Clap", he claps! "Say Cheese", he will give the most gorgeous smile!
Well, last night after he ate his dinner he was a bit fussy as if he wanted something else. I decided to give him some baby puffs in hopes that he would not only eat it, but maybe take them from me and transfer to his mouth. I took about a handful and held my hand out to him. He looked at my hand and reached to grab a puff. He took one at a time using his index finger AND thumb, and ate them! I ran to get my phone so that I could document this moment. Until last night he had NEVER done that! I was so so excited and began cheering him on. As his mother, it is my number one job to be his greatest supporter, his number one fan, his teacher! I take that responsibility seriously! To some, this may not be a big deal but for my husband and I, hitting these small yet meaningful milestones is AH-MAZING! Jaxson was given a 20% chance and we were told that he would have developmental delays. We didn't know what THAT would look like and thankfully it hasn't been as scary as we thought it COULD be. He doesn't seem delayed honestly and that's a blessing.
He is 15 months (actually) and 11 months (corrected) and no he isn't fully walking yet, or fully eating solids like other kids his age but gosh he is still beyond amazing and happy to just be alive. What more could I ask for? I stopped comparing my baby to others a long time ago. Comparison is the thief of joy and I didn't want to discredit Jaxson from his great strides by looking to my left or right at what another child his age was doing. I'm thankful that his brain is developing and that he is learning everyday. I don't take the little things for granted. Our story could've been completely different considering all of the cold hard facts-But God! He saw fit to bless Jaxson in such a way that brings hope to others. Everyday is a miracle, and we will NEVER stop celebrating each little thing.
I dare you to try it. When you are feeing down and out, just take a moment to breathe in fresh air. For there is someone somewhere fighting for the chance to just breathe. Take a moment to appreciate the fact that you CAN eat orally without a feeding tube or digestive issues. Look around and I'm sure you will find beauty and gratification in the little things.