"YOU GUYS ARE YOUNG YOU CAN ALWAYS TRY AGAIN LATER.” Those were the words my OB uttered as he sat at the edge of my hospital bed. I cried and asked, “Why is this happening to us?” I was 22 weeks pregnant and 2.8cm dilated. His usual candor went from upbeat to sad as he responded, “Sometimes these things just happen. You guys are good people and I hate when bad things happen to good people.” We wanted the truth and his advice…that’s when he said straight forward that we should do "comfort care". Going that route would mean that we would not stop the premature labor, and there would be absolutely no medication given or intervention when our son was born. Simply put, this suggestion meant that if our son was born before 24 weeks, we would hold him until he passed away. Most hospitals won't save a baby unless they are 24 weeks gestation. That's the gestation that many deem viable, although many babies are born and survive at 22 and 23 weeks.
I come in contact with people from all around the world and what I've come to realize is that people are in need of hope. The facts of life can sometimes cause us to doubt and feel defeated. I know first hand what its like to have "the hard facts" thrown at you like a rushing wave and leave you grasping for air. Sometimes those hard facts are given by Doctors, or people close to you. I believe that facts don't always align with the truth. You see, when I went into pre-term with my son, he was given a 20% chance of survival. No one could tell us for certain what his outcome would be if we proceeded with medical intervention. That statistic was given based on the fact that he was 22 weeks gestation and not many babies are born that early AND survive. So facts vs. truth were at odds.
We didn't get any type of heads up or crash course in prematurity UNTIL were hit head on with the untimely circumstance. The first 3 weeks were the toughest I would say as I was dealing with healing from my emergency c-section and seeing my tiny 1lb 2.9oz baby fighting for his life outside of my womb. We were introduced to medical terms, beeps alarms, questions, back and forth trips to the NICU, surgery, a transport to a children's hospital, sleepless nights and MORE!