February 11th was truly one of the best days of my life. It’s the day one of my biggest dreams came to pass…I gave birth to a healthy full term baby girl! My husband and I went to L&D at 5am for my scheduled c-section. I remember walking through those doors confident and feeling beyond grateful to have made it 38 weeks! We didn’t get much sleep the night before as we were excited and wrapping up some loose ties at the house. I knew we would be admitted for a few days, so it was important for me to have things in order beforehand. This would also be the first time I spent an extended time away from Jaxson since his NICU days-so I needed to make sure I had things situated for him before I gave birth. It was important for me to keep his routine the same while he was in the care of my Mom. Life as we knew it was about to change forever and I wanted him to feel safe during this huge transition.
*DISCLAIMER: I am usually a pretty positive person...and I am also very REAL! So some of what you read may be a little dark. In the beginning of this pregnancy I was sinking....I was sad and all I kept saying was, "This is so hard, I don't think I'm ready." But I prayed for this baby, and God answered...He never said it would be EASY, but that it would be worth it. So I just want to throw that out there BEFORE you read my week to week updates. Please don't judge me for my honesty, I'm sharing this real, raw and honest truth in hopes that someone else going through a hard time won't feel alone...
What a journey it has been thus far. A lot of my early pregnancy has been a blur and I’ve found myself in a constant state of survival. No kidding! So far I’ve had 4 beta blood draws to make sure my levels were rising, 3 ultrasounds to make sure baby is growing and doing ok, 2 ER visits to treat dehydration due to moderate hypermesis graviderum (again), a (routine) Pap smear, lab work which included about 5 viles of blood, oral progesterone every night and 2 antibiotics (because infection) oh and lots of nausea and vomiting which has resulted in me loosing 10 pounds 🤷🏽♀️
Sooooo here we are, in our 12th week of pregnancy and cruising right along. While the first few weeks it felt like time was moving at a snails pace- even with many appointments and Jaxson having started school, it felt like the days were SO long and slow. I was diagnosed with Hyperemsis Graviderum pretty early on (more on this later). The sickness consumed my life and my entire being. The past 12 weeks I have truly just been SURVIVAL MODE. There were days that I felt like I wasn’t going to make it through. Through tears, praying to God for relief, ER trips (for IV fluids and anti nausea meds) I literally told Marc I don’t think I can do this. It was hard to feel excited and have positive thoughts when I was so weak and sick and not feeling like my normal self.