February 11th was truly one of the best days of my life. It’s the day one of my biggest dreams came to pass…I gave birth to a healthy full term baby girl! My husband and I went to L&D at 5am for my scheduled c-section. I remember walking through those doors confident and feeling beyond grateful to have made it 38 weeks! We didn’t get much sleep the night before as we were excited and wrapping up some loose ties at the house. I knew we would be admitted for a few days, so it was important for me to have things in order beforehand. This would also be the first time I spent an extended time away from Jaxson since his NICU days-so I needed to make sure I had things situated for him before I gave birth. It was important for me to keep his routine the same while he was in the care of my Mom. Life as we knew it was about to change forever and I wanted him to feel safe during this huge transition.
Being pregnant after a preemie is one of the most mentally challenging things I’ve done. People often ask me what was the second factor on having another baby after Jaxson. My number 1 answer is: “Choosing the RIGHT DOCTOR!” And on February 11th, we were beyond grateful for the choice we made. I delivered a healthy baby girl via scheduled C-Section at 38 weeks which was our goal. I cried tears of joy on the operating room table as my OB held my baby girl up for me to see. it was such sweet relief! And to see how equally happy my Doctor was for us was the icing on the cake.
It was a warm day in July...the 23rd to be exact and I was still in a bit of pain. I woke up knowing what the day would bring and a part of me felt ready, but anxious. I had spent the night before preparing to be discharged from the hospital, after spending 10 days in Labor & Delivery. I would be going home to start my new normal. I was officially a "NICU Mom" to a micro preemie baby boy. Wow! While I looked forward to recovering from my c-section in the comfort of my own home, a part of me felt sad. I had to leave my new baby in the hospital, with people I didn't know but had to trust. It felt awkward and unsettling. How would I cope? How would I be able to relax? How would I be able to sleep at night being away from my first born who was fighting for his life? My husband and I were told we could call and come visit anytime we wanted. We also only lived about 12 minutes from the hospital which was very comforting. The first few days were a blur. I was numb and in auto pilot. I don't remember crying very much until day 9 when things took a turn with our son's health.